Going for a Kiss on the Third Date: What to Know

Looking to initiate that first kiss on a third date you have coming up? Here’s what you need to know.

By the time you reach the third date with someone, you probably have a good feel for what you’re looking to pursue with this person — and no matter what direction this budding relationship may or may not go in, it can be important to have that first kiss sooner rather than later.

A first kiss can take your relationship to the next level, or at least help you see whether you and your date are compatible.

In our research surveying people on their dating experiences, we have found that most people view the second date as the ideal time for a first kiss, but a decent number of people are also perfectly happy waiting until the third date to kiss.

So if you and your date didn’t kiss on either the first or second dates, there’s no need to worry. The third date can be a great time for a first kiss.

Let’s delve into what going on a third date means and what you need to know about landing a first kiss during it.

What It Means If You Haven’t Kissed by the Third Date

If you haven't kissed by the third date, it's important to remember that every relationship progresses at its own pace, and there is no one-size-fits-all timeline for physical intimacy.

Wrapping up the second date without having shared a first kiss can mean different things depending on each person and the dynamics of the dating relationship.

One possible reason why you may not have kissed by the third date is that one or both of you may not feel entirely comfortable with physical intimacy yet. Everyone has their own comfort zones, and it's important to respect and accept each other's boundaries and pace. It can be perfectly normal and healthy to wait several dates before kissing.

Another reason is that many people are shy or nervous when it comes to kissing, and it may take longer for them to feel comfortable enough to initiate a kiss.

The most unfortunate reason why people might go into a third date without having kissed yet is that there just isn’t chemistry between them. While you may enjoy each other's company and have a good time on your dates, there may be a lack of romantic chemistry that has made it feel unnatural or awkward to kiss. It's possible to have a strong emotional connection without feeling much physical attraction.

No matter what the reason, it’s best to keep an open mind going into a third date. Kissing on the third date can be a powerful way to see if you and your date are compatible and to make your desires clear.

How to Have a Good First Kiss on the Third Date

Throughout the date, be sure to pay attention to your date's body language and cues. Are they leaning in towards you, making prolonged eye contact, or giving you subtle hints of physical touch? These may be signs that they’re interested in a kiss.

When you feel ready to initiate the kiss, take it slow. Don't rush into the kiss. Start with eye contact, a gentle touch, and a slow lean-in to build up the intimacy. Be attentive to your date's response. If they seem receptive, you can gradually move in for the kiss.

When you feel ready to initiate the kiss, be confident and mindful. Be self-assured and present in the moment. Avoid distractions and be fully attentive to your date.

If you can’t get a cue nonverbally from your date, then you can just tell them verbally that you’d like to kiss them. Sure, it may sound less romantic this way. But it’s a great way to ensure full consent and mutual interest, while also avoiding catching your date off guard with your kiss.

Wondering when to kiss on the third date?

Of course, the best time to kiss would be a moment of natural chemistry that happens organically. Your eyes meet and you both effortlessly lean in.

But that magical third date kiss doesn’t always happen.

Feel out the date for a moment when you feel especially close and connected to your date. That could be a great time to go for the kiss.

If all else fails, go for the kiss at the end of the date when you’re saying goodbye.

The Risk of Not Kissing on the Third Date

Leaving the third date without a kiss may cause the relationship to stagnate. Physical intimacy can be a natural progression in a romantic relationship, and delaying physical intimacy for too long may prevent the relationship from embracing a deeper emotional connection.

If you haven't kissed after the third date, it may indicate that the relationship is not progressing. It could potentially kill the momentum you created on the first two dates, leaving you or your date wondering about the future of the relationship.

Physical intimacy, including kissing, can reveal potential incompatibilities between partners. It can be a way to gauge chemistry, attraction, and overall compatibility. If you haven't kissed after the third date, it may leave you and your date questioning whether you’re even attracted to one another.

Refraining from kissing is also a missed opportunity for bonding. Dates are all about bonding with someone new, and kissing can be a meaningful bonding experience. It can create a sense of intimacy, closeness, and vulnerability with your partner.

Delaying physical intimacy, including kissing, may mean missed opportunities for creating deeper emotional connections with your date. It may take longer to establish a strong emotional bond and truly understand each other on a more intimate level, which can potentially hinder the development of a meaningful relationship.

If you haven't kissed by the end of the third date, it can create uncertainty and doubt in your mind. You may start questioning the intentions, feelings, and level of interest from your date. Ending a third date without having had a first kiss may send mixed signals or create uncertainty about where your relationship is headed.

The Beauty of a Third Date Kiss

While there are good reasons to kiss on the first or second dates, it can actually be great to wait and share a first kiss on the third date.

Waiting to kiss builds emotional connection

When that first kiss is delayed, it allows for more time to focus on building an emotional connection with your date. By getting to know each other on a deeper level through meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and genuine connection, you can establish a stronger emotional bond. Building a solid foundation of emotional intimacy can create a stronger and more meaningful relationship in the long run.

You and your date develop trust and comfort first

Trust is a crucial component of any healthy relationship. Waiting to kiss until the third date can give you more time to develop trust with your partner, while allowing one another to become comfortable in the other’s presence.

You’ll avoid rushed decisions

Physical intimacy can sometimes cloud judgment and lead to rushed decisions in a relationship. By waiting to kiss until the third date, you give yourself and your partner more time to get to know each other without the added pressure and psychological toll of physical intimacy. It allows you to make more thoughtful and informed decisions about the relationship and ensures that you both are comfortable and ready for the next step.

You’ll be more self-aware

Taking the time to wait before having a first kiss can make you more self-aware in this dating journey. It allows you to reflect on your own feelings, desires, and boundaries. It gives you the opportunity to be in tune with your own emotions and make sure that you are comfortable and ready to deepen your bond with this person. This self-awareness can contribute to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

The kiss is more likely to lead to a makeout

When you wait until the third date to kiss, all that built-up energy can explode when you and your date finally get to release it. You’re likely to start with just a kiss and soon end up making out on this third date before it ends.

Waiting until the third date to kiss can build anticipation and excitement

Delaying a kiss can create anticipation and excitement in the relationship. It can build up a sense of longing and desire, making the eventual physical intimacy even more special and meaningful. It can create a sense of mystery, adding depth and passion to the relationship.

How to use dating apps to land more dates

Hopefully these tips give some insights on what it means to kiss on the third date.

If you’re on dating apps and want to improve your dating profile so you land more dates, we have you covered.

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